The New Super-Steroid That is Utterly Shocking the World of Sports

“Once you go Y, the competition will die.”

Anonymous

That is the word on the street in the sports world, and it is absolutely true.

Mind-bendingly, shockingly, horrifyingly true.

There have been other drugs that have upended sports.

Cortisone. Testosterone. Synthetic anabolic steroids. Erythropoietin. Human growth hormone.

None of them – not one – compares to a revolutionary new drug called Y.

“Y is unstoppable. If you have Y, the only person who is going to beat you is somebody else using it. It’s that powerful.”

Coach Stefan CaΓ±on, Olentangy University

There is a reason for this, too.

We talked to sports physiologist Dr. Buffy McMaster at Mahrahsha State University outside of Washington, DC, about Y, and why this drug is so powerful.

“Biochemically speaking, Y gets beneath EVERYTHING. Y actually MAKES your body MAKE steroids. I am not kidding. Y is not a steroid. Y isn’t even a normal drug if you swallow it. It does absolutely nothing if you swallow it. But if it is injected at just the right time, typically prenatally at around -0.75 y.o., it’s like some alien parasite – it takes over and turns a normal woman into a BEAST. It has her body itself cranking out testosterone at shocking levels.”

I asked McMaster if Y is safe. She actually laughed at me. The answer was not what any mother of a healthy daughter wants to hear.

“Absolutely not. Y shortens a woman’s lifetime by about 10 years – if she’s lucky. Y increases deaths in almost every risk category and every disease, except breast, uterine, and ovarian cancers. For some reason, Y avoids those diseases entirely. More research is definitely needed there.”

The problems that Y poses for the sports world don’t just stop with medical issues. Detection of Y is another problem that has leaders in the Olympics and championship records parts of the sports world biting their nails.

I discussed this issue with retired forensic analytical chemist Rosie Ruiz-Rosenstein, Ph.D.

“We can detect Y in SOME women – mostly in younger women who don’t bleed. Often they have penises. But since it’s OK for them to be using Y, that eliminates their cases, and we are left with an enigma. In the remaining cases, we can’t detect Y whatsoever. So the whole thing sucks, and we can’t legally detect Y at all. It’s very frustrating.”

Another mystery of Y is that it is only a problem in women. However, there is an analogous problem drug in men – something called X.

Drug geneticist Rosalind Parke-Davis explained.

“Y presents massive over-performance problems in women. X, on the other hand, presents UNDER-performance problems in men. So much so, that we often refer to these two mirror image problems together as the ‘XY’ problem.”

Under-performance is in fact a very rare drug problem in the sports world. Because of this, there are very few granular constructs able to deal with it. We talked with sports ethicist Wolfdance Sun-Moon about this specific problem.

“Men who bleed are unfairly stigmatized for the high rate of X use in their cohort. The problem of discrimination against them is real, persistent, and it’s not going away. Therefore, we are developing tools to deal with it, such as “starter points”, score normalization, pass/fail competition, and pass/pass competition. All of these tools are showing great promise in removing discriminatory behaviors from men’s sports where X use is on the rise.”

Finally, we talked with lucid nutbag anticommunist Wolf Moon, author of this blog. He explained everything to us.

“Look, Wolf, I have come up with an ingenious way to END the problem. We take all the MALE X addicts and FEMALE non-addicts and put them together as “A TEAM”. Then we take all the FEMALE Y addicts and MALE non-addicts and make them “B TEAM”. These two teams are what I am calling “Mixed Normalized Diverse Drug-Challenged Bi-gender Groups”. For reasons most people don’t understand, people cluster into these two mixed groups. We simply accept these odd diverse groups as natural outcomes of socialism, and let them stand as a monument to human understanding. Then we let individuals compete within these two groups separately, operating as a form of mixed cultural and biological safe spaces, and live happily ever after in socialist unity.”

I don’t know. It almost sounds too good to be true.

W

Reference: HERE.

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Tonawanda

Hilarious!

Tonawanda

This post made me laugh like when reading the scary warning about the effects of dihydrogen monoxide a/k/a hydroxl acid.

Tonawanda

Such an environmental threat! Those Italians do not care for anyone!

Cuppa Covfefe

An excellent and cautionary tale, Wolfmoon. One could even say, a word to the “Y”s… πŸ™‚

trumpismie

Best laugh I’ve had in a while Wolf! maybe I’m intransitive and you’re transitive

judyw

Yes, and absolutely my best laugh so far today!

Brave and Free

Well then the sports world will be interesting. We can all try to figure out who is M/F haha 🀣
Then again it would reduce the population……..
I gave up on sports awhile ago, when I noticed everyone worshipping the athletes like gods. Don’t get me wrong I like sports my kids played them in HS and one is playing in college now. But I hate to see the coaches that care only about winning at any cost.
I believe there (sports) are used as a distraction from everyday life. It makes it easier to control people when their only interested in one thing.

Sauce

heh…you had me until “Rosie Ruiz-Rosenstein” …nicely done πŸ˜‰

Pat Frederick

okay, I admit to being gullible–especially about this kind of stuff…but you had me scratching my head and trying to figure out where men would bleed from…lol…well played Wolfmoon!

andrew1979

from their front hole of course… πŸ™‚

Johnny

!!!!!!!Great Idea!!!!!!

NYGuy54

All I know is that Q clears it

GA/FL

Erythropoetin was once considered and/or tested as a possible treatment for our daughter’s neurological disorder, Friedreich’s Ataxia. Now only gene therapy is considered a possible efficacious treatment. Antioxidants (N-acetyl cysteine, CoQ10, etc) are currently the only treatment for *possibly* slowing the progression of her disease and keeping the patient in the best clinical condition.

Plain Jane

I’m sorry that your daughter has this condition. How is she responding to treatment current treatment? Am curious about how gene therapy for diseases works. I just prayed for her and researchers.

GA/FL

Hi Jane. Thanks for asking. The concert of antioxidants seems to help her day to day function. She has still progressed slowly – but is at the top clinical picture of her age/stage of the disease since diagnosis. We have had many blessings in her life and with our experience dealing with this disease. Prayers have been so appreciated and made a lot of difference.

Plain Jane

Prayers work wonders even when we have to live with our crosses, whether they be physical, mental, the crosses associated with seemingly obstinate loved ones, government or financial. All crosses. God Bless.

NebraskaFilly

I had never heard of this disorder so I looked it up. I see it is an inherited disease – are there others within your family who also have it? Sad that it could possibly affect your daughter’s children as well.
“Friedreich’s ataxia, or FRDA, is an autosomal recessive inherited disease that causes progressive damage to the nervous system. It is the most common inherited ataxia, affecting approximately 1 in 29,000 individuals.[1] FRDA manifests in initial symptoms of poor coordination such as gait disturbance; it can also lead to scoliosis, heart disease and diabetes, but does not affect cognitive function. The disease is progressive, and in most cases a wheelchair is required for mobility.
The particular genetic mutation (expansion of an intronic GAA triplet repeat in the FXN gene) leads to reduced expression of the mitochondrial protein frataxin. Over time this deficiency causes the aforementioned damage, as well as frequent fatigue due to effects on cellular metabolism.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friedreich%27s_ataxia

GA/FL

No one in our family ever had it – but it is more common among Cajun/Louisiana folks where my father is from

Aubergine

OMG! Wolfmoon!
I read the headline and the first paragraph, and then insisted I read it out loud to “hubby.” Imagine my chagrin when halfway through I realized I had been played like a bass on a hook!
Lol, what a way to start the day.

Aubergine

We’ve laughed about it all day!

Gil

I got it pretty quick but very good game! If no one reads comments a passerby might take it to repost. Then someone who cant read past the first 5 sentences would believe it….

Plain Jane

Got it right at this point. Kept reading to laugh all the way through.
β€œβ€œY is unstoppable. If you have Y, the only person who is going to beat you is somebody else using it. It’s that powerful.”
Coach Stefan CaΓ±on, Olentangy University”

Plain Jane

I never got into Steve Canyon. My daily foray into comic strips started and ended with B.C. after I devoured the Chicago Sun Times. That was 66 to 55 years ago. πŸ™‚

pgroup

Did someone say teamwork?

Tonawanda

And he was a pipsqueak at a little over 6″!

prairie123

Oh my goodness! Too funny! “Dr. Buffy McMaster at Mahrahsha State University outside of Washington, DC” this had me pausing to wonder… who names their child “Buffy” and then I wondered where on earth Mahrasha State U was…. ha! Great moment! Thanks!

NebraskaFilly

Caught me, Wolfie! Not on the ball this morning! LOL

NebraskaFilly

You are being too kind – no, it was my lack of paying attention to detail. As you say – fake women are not women – not on their best day!

Molly Pitcher

Hahah…I just read this for first time and am such a tinfoiler nothing seemed unusual until I got to ” We talked with sports ethicist Wolfdance Sun-Moon about this specific problem.”
Now you’d think that right away some red flags would be waving..nope! My heart sunk thinking our Wolfmoon’s “real” identity would be discovered!!! OMG…I better walk back my hyper brain.
LOL, with what’s out there in the Prog Dystopia it really didn’t seem to far fetched until 3/4 of the way through

thinkthinkthink

10,000 x 10,000 LIKES. You have outdone yourself Moon-dance.