“We do not believe any group of men adequate enough or wise enough to operate without scrutiny or without criticism. We know that the only way to avoid error is to detect it, that the only way to detect it is to be free to inquire. We know that in secrecy error undetected will flourish and subvert.” –J. Robert Oppenheimer
PDJT will be speaking at CPAC at 10:00am Eastern Time. Here is a link for live streaming CPAC speeches if you’re interested. H/t Nebraska Filly.
https://time.com/5169644/cpac-livestream-watch/
There has been much consternation about the timing of the President’s speech. Apparently there was a big meeting at the White House today about CVirus. President is giving a presser this afternoon at 1:30pm Eastern.
This Fortress Q Tree Saturday Open Thread is VERY OPEN – a place for everybody to post whatever they feel they would like to tell the White Hats, and the rest of the MAGA/KMAG/KAG world (with KMAG being a bit of both).
Free Speech is practiced here at the Q Tree. But please keep it civil.
Discussion of Q is not only allowed but encouraged. Imagine that! We can talk about Q here and not get banned.
Please also consider the Important Guidelines, outlined here. Let’s not give the odious Internet Censors a reason to shut down this precious haven that Wolf has created for us.
Wheatie’s Rules:
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For your listening enjoyment, I offer this composition from Two Steps From Hell, titled ‘Nero’:
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3Ezybk7mz8&w=640&h=360]
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Visual Descriptions for our dear Zoe, and for anyone else who may find them helpful:
Header and First Image: Is an enormous Tree standing alone in a clearing with a giant door built into the base of the trunk. A lone figure is approaching the doorway. There are patches of moss and small leafy branches emerging up and down the gnarled trunk.
Second Image: Is an interior room with vaulted ceilings and arched throughways. There is a sturdy-looking couch with throw pillows and nearby armchairs. Behind the couch is a table and chairs…and there are additional seating groups in the adjacent spaces.
Third Image: Is President Trump walking in the rain towards the steps of Air Force One, carrying an umbrella. The text on this image reads: The Storm Is Upon Us – God We Ask That You Shelter and Protect Our President.
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It’s Caturday!
Cats are cool.
But doggies are pretty wonderful, too:
I promised that I would do this post at 45%, and at 46.6%, I’m almost not a liar. But my plan was to do it before 50%, and that is working out pretty nicely.
What I am talking about is HOW FULL OUR MEDIA BUCKET IS.
Here is what our media bucket looks like.
This list of images you see actually scrolls on FOREVER. It’s generally easier and very convenient to SEARCH THROUGH IT, using the search widget near the top, and the name of the image file, or some fragment of it. Search on “melania”, and you get DOZENS of wonderful pictures of our beautiful FLOTUS.
As Wheatie has pointed out, media searches are a GREAT WAY of conserving media bucket space. Not only that – people can replay their favorite images, which are extremely popular. All I have to do is type in “field” and I know that I will get back WHEATIE WARRIOR!!!
Right now, our media bucket is ALMOST half-way full.
I had PROMISED that I would have a solution READY before 50%, so that we would all begin a solid conservation plan when we got to 50% full.
We’re almost there now – hence this post.
If we do nothing, then in roughly a year or two, it will fill up. So we have to make a choice:
My choice is now to pursue the THIRD option, with the SECOND as our backup.
The GOOD NEWS is that I have a great way to do this.
Hosting images elsewhere is the key. The PROBLEM is that this adds a level of complication which most authors find very annoying – including ME ME ME.
For example, I am VERY adept at using IMGUR for storing images. Observe….
See some familiar images from my comments? Imgur is where I store a LOT of my memes and handy pictures for use in comments. It’s also quite usable for images in WordPress articles, too.
I will admit that it’s marginally easier to just upload a picture to the WQTH media bucket when doing an article here, but the small effort required to upload it to Imgur instead, and then use a LINK to the Imgur location, is not bad at all. This is a GREAT way to save space. A few seconds? Not a problem.
However, I have to admit that the searching isn’t as great on Imgur, and some people just don’t like it. And YES, there are other hosting sites, but they all have problems. Photobucket will ransom you hard for a paid account, and limits the bandwidth of your images. Others – well, let’s just say that I preferred Imgur.
Many people find that the sign-up process for Imgur is not trivial. Worse, getting onto there without having to type in the password every time can be a challenge for some. It’s easy to get locked out of Imgur if you forget your password. Finally, getting quickly to the plain image URL takes some practice.
All of these reasons were why I was balking at doing this post when we hit 45%. I just didn’t feel like I could offer a GREAT solution.
WELL, now I CAN offer a great solution. I tested out something, and it works like crazy.
Let me see if you can figure it out.
You know that I had ANOTHER WordPress blog before this one – and before the U Tree – right?
Well, it has a media bucket just like this one.
OK – I should say ALMOST like this one…..
So this is ALL you have to do.
Now, if you feel like an image is REALLY important, and it MUST be stored SAFELY and SECURELY on the main WQTH site in our communal media bucket, then by all means do so. But otherwise, you will find that it’s fairly easy to store images on your own site, and there are numerous advantages to this as well.
If you need help setting this up, let me know. Likewise, if you think you’ve found a better solution, please let me know THAT in the comments below, and I’ll add it to this presentation as an addendum.
Thank you for all your hard work. Hopefully, I’ve not added too much to it by this workaround.
You will have plenty of time (the percentages are moving REALLY slowly now) to figure this out before we get to 50%. At that point, I plan to unleash WHEATIE WARRIOR OF THE MEDIA BUCKET to remind people about conserving the resources of our beautiful site!
We’ve got a good thing here, and I think if we stick with THE PLAN, we’re gonna be able to keep it that way for a LONG, LONG TIME.
Gosh, a week ago we were in Vegas together. Steve is still cleaning up from the mess we made at his house in Colorado Springs, and we’ve been around the world since then. Yet, we’re on this Trump/Wolfie roller coaster together. Please …….hold onto the bar.
NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. (WCIV) – President Donald Trump will host a Keep America Great Rally on Friday, February 28, at 7 p.m. at the North Charleston Coliseum in North Charleston, his reelection campaign announced Thursday.
https://abcnews4.com/news/local/pres-donald-trump-to-host-rally-in-north-charleston-day-before-sc-democratic-primary?fbclid=IwAR1M7_bBfEVgtKcTgW8QayT0ov15afdgsxfBqLfW7n_WCS0Ks8AAygM9ltM
We’re on the road again and it feels good. We’re headed south, to the coast.
We can almost smell the South Carolina BBQ and Momma’s Sunday chicken from here. We’re headed into the land of exceptional hospitality, outstanding college football, southern grace, honorable men, gorgeous women, ceiling fans, wide porches, and blooming azaleas, …….. we’re headed to LOW COUNTRY.
We’re so glad you finally made it to Charleston, and glad you’re staying for the weekend. There is so much to do here!!!!!!!
Charleston is a bit of a geographic challenge, so many bridges it will remind you of Amsterdam. The town sits at the southern tip of the Cooper River and the Atlantic. Thus, water surrounds the town and beautiful beaches are found everywhere we turn. A major hurricane hit on Charleston would be a disaster.
With water everywhere, several rivers converging, and an Atlantic Port, we can easily understand why Charleston played a primary role throughout our nation’s history. From the first shots of the Civil War fired on Ft. Sumpter……
To the present day MAJOR cargo terminal and US NAVY Port, which Charleston has become.
With the constant hussle and bussle of business activity in Charleston (South Carolina has the lowest unemployment in the country at 2.3%), it’s hard to imagine the graceful, slow, southern lifestyle which Charleston offers. Yet, Charleston is low country, hot, humid, and sticky. No one would survive in a navy blue suit during the month of August….. so things are a little more casual. But the downtown, historic, and financial centers are beautiful, especially when the azaleas bloom in the spring.
In “North Charleston” (which is really west of the city, but it’s up river, therefore NORTH), where President Trump’s rally will be held, the median age is 33yrs old and median home cost is $131K. The burbs of Charleston are affordable, young, hip, yet still close to great museums, art, beaches, and airports.
Come hungry!! The food in Charleston is a perfect cross section. It’s east coast, meets New Orleans love of seafood, meets wild Asian influence, with a healthy portion of Southern Mommas fried chicken or Uncle Fred’s BBQ. Thus, Charleston is a perennial favorite of the Food Network.
Trumpers are getting ready in Charleston:
See you all at the rally!
Need your help, folks. Calling all QTreeps.
Apparently, our little Coronavirus thread, and updated threads, are MILES ahead of the politicians and pundits on MSM (Sure wish we received classified briefings though, can you put in a word for us, Wolfie?) AND, I’ve found, publishing OUR link, along with a message of “We’ve been working on this issue since January. Here are 100’s of links, videos, sources, and hints. Be informed, not fearful”……… shuts down all political opposition. It’s truly stunning how ill-informed the media is on the subject (or they are intentionally misleading the public). The amount of DISINFO presents a hazard.
Nonetheless, our little thread has tremendous value, both as real information for those who are new to the subject or genuinely worried, AND for those who using the virus as a political weapon. I shared our thread today across social media. In the last 7 hours, I’ve received at least 2 dozen private messages of thanks and hundreds of short messages……. people feel better when they have information in their hands. Let’s give them information.
The current thread expires at the end of the month and I’m putting together a new one for the first week of March. Thinking we will update once a week until crisis subsides. Good idea or no?
Please, I need your contributions. Please post here, anything you have. I’ll be happy to sort it out over a long weekend and add to an updated thread. Please include a source/link, where you can and pretty please, DATE the source. I figured out a little too late that dates create a huge problem. For instance, I might type a brief sentence and say “yesterday, Laura Ingraham show”. Well, several days later, I have no idea WHICH day was “yesterday”. See what I mean?
Miss Gail Combs, I was wondering, nudge, nudge, if you could find some spare time, to provide us with a similar update like you did last time. If you can’t get it in by Sunday, I can always edit the post and add it later. Would be most appreciative. Where is Smiley2? I need you, and Aubergine, and the chemist guys, and info about air travel from FG&C, and Bakocarl’s tidbits, and everyone.
People are afraid when they don’t know what they’re dealing with, and we have reams of information. You guys pull items from Chiefio, foreign sources, etc. We always joked that QTree was an amazing collection of expertise, and we’re proving it now, when it counts. We’re fortunate to have different people with varying skill sets (medical- econ- VALUABLE hints from our grandparents- herbal medicine- Heloise-type-hints on how to keep a clean home/office) to add to the post. And it’s the only way to examine the whole problem.
Unless someone has a better idea (and heaven knows, I’m always open to a better idea), we’re going to divide the post into the following categories. If you think we need another category, let me know. This has become, very much, a group project:
You guys are the best. Thank you.
All my love,
D
Welcome to Friday’s OPEN THREAD at the QTree! It’s the weekend and time to crack open a beer and put some steaks on the grill! Thank you for the Thursday hand-off TrumpIsMine. Thank you to Wolfie for keeping us all organized, up and running. What would we do without FLEP’s News Roundup to keep up? Thank you, Flep. Hat tip and a hearty thank you to Wheatie, Dep, BakoCarl, Michael, all contributors and the lurkers!
We don’t believe in political correctness at QTree. Free Speech is practiced here. ENJOY IT. Use it or lose it. This board will remain a REFUGE for those who need civility, either some or all of the time. Important Guidelines are outlined here in the January 1st open thread, with an addendum on 20191110. In other words, please keep it SOMEWHAT civil. We have a new board – actually a new SITE – called The U Tree – where people can take each other to the woodshed without fear of censorship or moderation.
What a week we’ve had. We’ve gone from India, with images of hundreds of thousands of Indian citizens gleefully welcoming our President, FLOTUS, and delegation in grand fashion……. and in a small overlooked news item, Sec Wilbur Ross traveled on to Pakistan. Hmmmmm! The President came home with a 3 billion dollar military sale but did not buckle on a larger trade deal. Good. The USA is in a winning position and he won’t sign unless it’s good for American citizens. We want “Reciprocity”.
When the President returned home, he was greeted by news of massive selloffs in the stock market and a media intent on causing a panic over Coronavirus. News out of Italy/Iran and South Korea sparked concerns over the virus spreading. In South Korea, we learned over 800K people signed a petition calling for the impeachment of President Moon, because he did not act fast enough to close the borders to Chinese travelers, …..which makes Trump’s decision to close travel to those from China, a month ago, quite wise. THUS, Italy’s politicians and other country’s leaders reacted severely to any threat of the virus….. which made the media salivate. The President addressed the nation on Wednesday night.
The reaction in the media reminds me of an anecdote I learned long ago, told to me by a seasoned fund manager. He said, “I could hire anyone to work for me…… When everything is going well, it wouldn’t matter if I hired people straight out of the phone book, but the reason I hire the best in the business, seek them out and pay them more, is because there will be a problem/disaster/catastrophe in the next ten years. During that moment of crisis, decisions made by savvy and calm employees will be all that stands between me and the sharks.”
It’s why we hired Donald Trump as President, for a moment such as…. Coronavirus.
In other news, well out of the headlines, the President’s Judicial Armada plugs along, the Border Wall continues adding mileage, and the Trump Admin won big in the Appeals Court for a ruling on restricting block grants to Sanctuary Cities. Promises made, promises kept, the list of accomplishments continues.
The Dems are annihilating each other in their debates and on the campaign trail. We’ve had fun watching the implosion on several Dem Debate Threads and the forecast for next week is “100% chance of continued amusement”.
Tonight, the President travels to South Carolina, for a rally before South Carolina Primary. I’ve already started marinating the ribs for the grill. We can sip tea, or share a few Mint Juleps, comfortable with our Stable Genius, while the Dems muddy themselves in the gutter. Full Debate Thread will go up after midnight. Surely, there are already people in line. Ya’ll can come visit me at the B&B while we’re in South Carolina.
Make sure you rest up over the weekend because we have another rally in North Carolina on Monday night, ahead of the Super Tuesday primary. It is election season.
“Our movement is about replacing a failed and corrupt political establishment with a new government controlled by you, the American People.” Candidate Donald J Trump
Remember Wheatie’s Rules:
If you’re up past midnight, take a walk outside and look at the Moon and Venus “kiss” each other. Kind of cool.
Say a little prayer for the President and his family/team. It won’t hurt you, and he needs all the help he can get.
Until next week, Remain Calm and Rock On………
See you all tomorrow morning at Wheatie’s treehouse!
Free Speech is practiced here. ENJOY IT. Use it or lose it.
However, we have a new policy. Starting 20191110. Keep it SOMEWHAT civil. We have a new board – actually a new SITE – called The U Tree – where people can take each other to the woodshed without fear of censorship or moderation. NOT HERE. This board will remain a REFUGE for those who need civility, either some or all of the time.
They tried to FORCE fake Orwellian civility on us. In response, we CHOOSE true civility to defend our precious FREEDOM from THEM. Our rules began with the civility of the Old Treehouse, later to become the Wolverinian Empire, and one might say that we have RESTORED THE OLD REPUBLIC – the early high-interaction model of the Treehouse – except of course that Q discussion is not only allowed but encouraged, and speech is considerably freer in other ways. Please feel free to argue and disagree with the board owner, as nicely as possible.
Please also consider the Important Guidelines, outlined here in the January 1st open thread. Let’s not give the odious Internet Censors a reason to shut down this precious haven.
SPEAK THE FIVE WORDS BOLDLY TO OUR PRESIDENT! “I AM PRAYING FOR YOU!“
Keep focused and you eye on the prize QTreepers. 11/03/2020 is just 251 days and a wake up to 4 more years of Donald J. Trump and a second term as President of the United Stated Of America!
President Trump live link here a Fox10:
GST – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd7qXKXpdnQ
CSPAN – https://www.c-span.org/video/?469747-1/president-trump-holds-news-conference-coronavirus
Alex Azar and others, testifying to Congress, live now:
Rewind if necessary.
Trump Administration timeline of action on Coronavirus:
Here is the video, released today:
David Wright, Senior Correspondent, magna cum laude at Harvard, additional degree from Oxford, has been suspended by ABC. In video, Wright freely admits he’s a socialist, does not hold Trump to account, nor does he give Trump credit when due. He agrees, his network is only interested in three main things, 1) The outrage of the day, 2) the “investigation”, and 3) the palace intrigue of who is stabbing someone else in the back.
Andy Fies, long time ABC News Producer, is also on video, admitting New Yorkers don’t understand how anyone could like Trump……. and they probably need to cross the fu&&ing Hudson and figure out why.
Quite an interesting 7 minute video.
The Washington Post reported on the “sting” done by Project Veritas, and the Post article was picked up by MSN, found here. Watch this……
The choppy, poorly shot video, released Wednesday morning by Project Veritas, captured Wright on what appeared to be a hidden camera, seeming to complain in general terms about political coverage.
“I don’t think we’re terribly interested in voters,” he said, echoing gripes about the superficiality of some aspects of White House and campaign coverage that have been raised by journalists for decades. Also: “Commercial imperative is incompatible with news.”
https://www.bing.com/search?q=Project+veritas&form=ANNTH1&refig=740351a53d5a44c5a66574ba9593e77e&sp=-1&ghc=1&pq=project+veritas&sc=8-15&qs=n&sk=&cvid=740351a53d5a44c5a66574ba9593e77e
Okay, from the same article, now look at this part:
Although O’Keefe has defended the organization’s methods as journalistically sound, mainstream news organizations have largely abandoned the practice of infiltrating businesses or organizations to record video without a subject’s knowledge or consent. News organizations generally consider the practice deceptive, and doing so can subject them to criminal trespass penalties.
https://www.bing.com/search?q=Project+veritas&form=ANNTH1&refig=740351a53d5a44c5a66574ba9593e77e&sp=-1&ghc=1&pq=project+veritas&sc=8-15&qs=n&sk=&cvid=740351a53d5a44c5a66574ba9593e77e
What? I’m old enough to remember 60 minutes doing undercover videos and trespassing all over businesses and bureaucrats. When did it become “untoward”?
Saw this article this morning, and I started thinking…..
Discussion welcome. Can’t wait to see what you guys think.
Here, we have a Police Officer who arrested a 6yr old girl in school. She threw a tantrum, kicked and screamed. Officer picked her up from school (obviously someone at school called the police), charged her with misdemeanor battery, fingerprinted the little girl at the police station, before the state atty said she would drop the charges and let her go into Grandma’s custody. Of course, Grandma is mad and will probably sue the police department.
Officer also arrested another 6yr old boy.
The Officer was fired for not getting the approval of Watch Commander for arresting a child under age 12. What happened to common sense? Why is all this activity necessary? Is it because we turned over the job of parenting our children to the state? Cuz………., that’s what I’m seeing.
Personally, I see this as a waste of Police Officer’s time, coupled with a new and alien phase of teachers who are afraid to discipline students in a classroom. AND bad parents. BUT, let’s stop and think about it. Who really knows what goes on behind closed doors and the struggles therein? Are we judging without knowing? Probably.
Here’s the other side of the story. I confess. I had a stepson who decided he wanted to run away from home. He was about 8yrs old at the time, trying to bluff me, and I knew it. I said, “Okay, fine. Your father and I will miss you but we understand how you feel……”, which left him quite confused. I can’t even remember why he was mad, but I helped him pack up his little Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle suitcase he used to take to grandma’s when he spent the night.
I shook his hand goodbye at the back door.
Gheez, he was a stubborn kid.
He took off across the parking lot at the school next door, walking real slow and dragging his feet. He kept looking over his shoulder, waiting for me to capitulate and come after him.
I didn’t move – I was committed, but I could still see him.
About 10 minutes into the event but with stepson still in eyesight, Grady drove up, local police officer. He stopped to say hello every time I was watering my flowers.
I told him about my problem with stepson and told Grady to go and arrest him.
Grady was surprised at first. Yet, it was a Sunday afternoon, he wasn’t busy in our little township, and with a sly grin, he understood my dilemma, completely.
Grady wheeled his car around, turned on the blue lights, and went to “arrest” my stepson. No handcuffs, we agreed.
Within 5 minutes, I met them both at the police station, which is also in eyesight of our house.
Stepson knew he was in BIG trouble.
Never had another problem……
Don’t ever bluff a Momma.
Of course, we teased my stepson about “the time he ran away” with great regularity over the years, but that boy always pushed my limits.
Flash forward, stepson about age 14-15.
He had a girlfriend in a neighboring county who was a superb young woman. We encouraged their dating even though the distance was a problem, and neither kid could drive. On a Saturday night, I took off from home about 11:00pm, and went to pick him up from a “date”….. quiet and dark roads. No traffic at all.
We struck up a conversation on the way home.
I asked him about his date. He had fun, but something was off.
We rode for a while in silence, and then he blurted out his problem.
His best buddy, Jeremy, had run away from home.
“What?”, I said, and my back stiffened.
Jeremy was like my own kid. Jeremy’s mother was a dear friend to me, owned a successful biz around the corner from our house. The boys had been best friends since cub scouts. When Jeremy had problems with step-dad, he lived with us for months on end – which really wasn’t all that different because he was at our house all the time anyway.
But this time Jeremy had run away for real.
Jeremy had called my step-son, during his date, and Jeremy was afraid, calling out for help, but unwilling to call his mother. Stepson was giving me details, fast and furious, but in no particular order, and I was trying to keep up with the story.
My stepson was visibly upset.
Jeremy was still stubborn and “in over his head”.
I asked my stepson “WHY” was Jeremy afraid?
Within a nano-second, “Where is Jeremy?” I was wide awake, and readjusting in my seat by then….
The answer came, “Well, Jeremy has been living in a hay barn, just south of St Louis.” Me, at lightning speed by then, “Almost 300 miles away!!??” From stepson, “Yeah, but the local farmer discovered he was living there and threw him off the property.”
“What?”
Stepson was sad, he missed his friend, but understood the problems.
“What????”
“A hay barn????”, at that point, I think my stepson was wondering if he made a mistake by telling me. I could tell my stepson was having a difficult time with this, and I stopped, backed up, calmed down, asap.
I was trying to wrap my head around the idea of Jeremy in a hay barn. I rubbed his shoulder and said, “Honey, it’s going to be close to 30 degrees tonight, cold outside and even colder in Missouri. What the heck was he thinking?”
“I don’t know, mom”, said my stepson.
Silence for a few minutes. My brain was running at full tilt. There was no possible way, no possible ulterior motive or condition which existed, where I could leave Jeremy alone. No, no way….. no matter what the repercussions. No.
We turned onto the interstate for our last leg of the trip home to our house, and I turned north, instead of south.
“What are you doing, mom?”
“We’re going to get Jeremy…….”, I said.
Objections, loud objections, “Mom, you can’t interfere”
From me, “The hell I can’t!”
I called Tina, my friend and Jeremy’s mom, and woke her up. She explained the situation. Jeremy was a brilliant, rich, and stubborn young man…. which I already knew. And she told him to call her when he was ready, but he was defiant. He was unwilling to call, to capitulate, and it was killing her, but she had made her stand and her husband was a bigger part of the problem, throwing gas on the fire.
I told her I was going to get him and they could work it out later.
She was actually relieved.
Then, I called my husband. He insisted on coming with us, but I refused to come home and pick him up. He didn’t have the personality for what lay ahead. He was furious, but he was a strong man and intimidating. This….. this needed a lighter touch.
My stepson called Jeremy, told him we were coming, and they talked back and forth several times…. to arrange where to meet.
And off we went to St Louis….. in the middle of the night, fog rolling low of over the pastures, almost no traffic save the friendly semi-trucks, ….. we made great time.
We met Jeremy that night under an interstate bridge. I’ll never forget it. He didn’t want to be close to a gas station or attract any attention. He was only wearing a light jacket and had been gone for over 6 weeks. I thought to myself, “guilt”, how the heck could Jeremy be missing for 6 weeks and me not know about it?
Surreal.
We got out of the car, Jeremy not quite knowing what to expect. I threw my arms round that kid, so happy to see him, alive and unharmed. No yelling, just grateful he was okay. Within 15 seconds he was sobbing into my shoulder.
His parents were multi-millionaires. Jeremy had every advantage and yet, he was a miserable kid just trying to find his way.
Amazing how an argument can start as nothing and blossom into a catastrophe.
But at 3:00am a Waffle House can cure what ails almost anyone. Those boys were so hungry.
Both boys fell asleep on the way home. They were almost grown men but huddled together in the back of the blue-bomb mini-van, sharing Grandma Della’s homemade afghan, like they used to do when they were little cub scouts.
I rode in silence, deeply humbled and relieved. There but for the grace of God, go I. I thought about Tina and what she was going through. I thought about how I would react if my stepson was 300 miles away, living in a barn, and cold. It made me react physically. I was shaking and white knuckled, gripping the steering wheel. The thought of what could have happened scared the heck out of me. Sigh…..
Gosh, I do admire an independent streak in a young man, it means they have spirit, which is the best thing we could ever give to a child. Certainly, I raised Gunner to be incredibly independent, and at times, wow, I have learned to regret it……..
I’ll admit, as a mom, whenever my husband would try to hover over the kids and limit activities, I would argue for independence, allowing them plenty of rope to test limits. In a small town, we could always rescue them if one got into too much trouble. My standard line was, “You know, if it was 200 yrs ago, by age 16, those boys would have a wife, maybe a child on the way, and 200 acres to farm.” and then turn to the child, “Of course I trust you, …..dear” ….. which was the kiss of death and meant they couldn’t screw up. It made them responsible adults. Normally, it worked.
Sometimes though, our terrific young men, they just need a little help, a little bit of space, neutral ground, and a 3:00am Waffle House run in Missouri.
By the time we reached Memphis, the sun was up and my husband was calling, anxious, making the boys even more apprehensive. Yet, he was legitimately worried about all of us. We arrived at home and he was waiting in the driveway. My first husband had the ability to LOOK at those boys, and they would immediately start crying. The boys were nervous and didn’t know what to expect from him. Slowly, they unfolded their stiff bodies from the mini-van. Were they in trouble? Going to be torn apart? Yet, I have to give my ex-husband credit. He handled it perfectly….. hugged them both hard, for a long time. He told them to get some sleep, take a shower, and everything would be okay.
And it was.
Only a man can understand an adolescent male, and the innate natural desire for a young man to stake a claim, stand for something – even if it’s wrong when they’re teenagers. It’s something a mom can’t do no matter how hard we try. It takes both parents to raise a young man. Sure, a lighter touch from mom is often needed because young men go from an eight-year-old, to 40-year-old, and back to a 12-year-old, in the same conversation. A stern look from Dad, which can make a child crumble, is definitely necessary but comes in handy. Above all, a little bit of silence, no quick judgement, and plenty of long hard hugs make everything better, no matter how old they are.
When Jeremy returned to school, he was quite the legend. The stories of his nights “on the lamb” and our midnight run to Missouri grew like exaggerated “fish stories” as the years passed. He was a handsome young fellow and the girls swooned around him. I rolled my eyes. He was the consummate bad boy. But a strange thing happened along the way….. Thankfully, my legend grew a little bit as well because it was part of Jeremy’s story. It went like this: “Because, No matter where you are, Miss Daughn will come and find you.” It was strange and liberating for the kids. It meant they had a sense of security, to step off of base…. The kids never did anything really bad, no gun-running or drug-dealing, but they had a feeling if they ever really got into trouble, they could call Miss D, and magically, I could fix it. In a weird way, it gave them more independence. Over the next dozen years, there were many phone calls, but nothing too severe.
As my own son, Gunner, grew up, he had thousands of miles of rope to test his independence. We kept thinking he would screw up, mildly, a little bit, and waited for it. Nothing. Straight as an arrow, that kid, …… until one time, he called me at midnight from his dorm. He was quite upset, ranting and raving. I tried to calm him down to no avail. He cried and sobbed, inconsolably. After an hour, he hung up on me.
What? My son had never hung up on me. What was going on? I woke Big T up and he was concerned as well. It was unlike Gunner. Big T was pacing the floor and suggested we drive down to his college. I nodded, but thought I should go alone, again, over his objections….. softer touch, save the big guns for when we need them. I couldn’t sleep anyway, took a shower, and started driving. I woke Gunner up, in his dorm, at 5:00am. “Mom, what are you doing here?”, he said, embarrassed. I looked at him and squinted, “Because no matter where you are, I will FIND you.” and then, “You want to tell me what’s going on?” It was hormones, over-reaction, thinking too much and caring what other people think too much. He was lonesome and had lost perspective. I took him to the grocery store and restocked his little fridge. He was fine……………
We went to Waffle House for breakfast.
And I let the rope out again…………
Kids are tough, and take all of our effort, but being a mom is the best job I’ve ever had. Why would any parent trust the bureaucracy with such an important job?
