This morning, ThinkThinkThink and Mandy were talking about Christians being persecuted all over the world, when Mandy countered by mentioning the rebirth of Christianity after perestroika and the collapse of the Soviet Empire. Today, the Russian Orthodox church is flourishing.
The longing for traditions, familiarity of Christmas is strong. This story needs to be told.
It was either ’94 or ’95. We had a local little Arts Council in rural Mississippi. Members joined for about $150/year. We dressed up, 5-6 times a year, gathering for an event where “art” or “music” happened. Women donned white gloves and pretended to be civilized. The Bourbon flowed and our husbands looked dashing. The affairs were mostly a social event, and excuse to get together and have a party…… until someone took the idea seriously…….. and the earth shifted on its axis…. just a little bit.
Our local State Senator was Chair of Ways and Means, a powerful guy in the state. Somehow, our little Arts Council landed a grant to pay for several performances of The St. Petersburg State Symphony Orchestra to come to our three-stoplight-town, where they would play for school children as well as perform for the public. Thus, the world renowned Russian orchestra departed their shores and set off on their great southern tour of the USA……. stopping at major cities like Tampa, Charlotte, Atlanta, …… and a virtual backwater in Mississippi.
Understand, the Arts Council was run by blue-blooded elder women. I was, literally, the youngest member and was TOLD what to do. The “committee” decided I would cater a dessert reception, 2500 high end pastries and sweets after the public performance with coffees…….. then, they added the kicker.
Since our state has a reputation for hospitality, the committee decided members of the Council would host symphony members for dinner in their homes. Some members hosted one, or 2-4,….. but the elder ladies decided it was easier for me. I could take the bulk for whom they were unable to obtain commitments. I was assigned 11 Russians.
Additionally, we had a B&B full house of 9 figure, high maintenance multi-millionaires who came in for the performance. I also received a phone call from the school principal, wondering if I could donate 500 cookies and punch for the kids orchestra performance, two days in a row = 1000 cookies. How could I say no? The school was my best customer. We were set up for a busy few days. The schedule was dinner for Russian Symphony members, one school performance, the grand public performance, and another event the following morning for the high school students.
As the days grew closer to the Russians arriving, my ex-husband grew anxious about the dinner. Note, he wasn’t worried about the 2500 time-consuming pastries or the 1000 cookies for the kids. He sputtered incessantly about the menu and fussed over the house. Quite odd for him. It made no sense to me to cook Russian food for Russians (How could I ever hope to compete with “Das Mama” or “Das Grandma”?). I finally threw my hands up and settled on an Italian menu …… cuz everyone loves Italian food. Next, he was worried about the seating. “What the hell?”, I thought, “Go back to work and get out of my dining room.” He even proposed the idea of renting a piano. “Huh? I’m not going to make them sing for their supper.”, I scowled.
A big dinner party was fairly typical for the B&B, at least weekly, and “This is only for 14 people.”, I said. He had a fit….., “What do you mean, 14?” “Well, there are 11 Russians, you, me, and my stepson, 9 years old, Adam.”, I counted them off on my fingers. Again, he shook his head. “Adam cannot attend a formal dinner.”, he stated flatly. I paused, stepped back, and flicked my eyebrows like a squirrel’s tail, “Okay…….Why not?” He had no answer. “Look”, I said, “I don’t care if Adam eats with his fingers….. which he won’t……. but a chance to have dinner with 11 Russian Orchestra members…… Gosh…… It’s too good to pass up.” Right? I was trying to calm him down and doing my best to be persuasive. To me, the primary reason for HOSTING the dinner was FOR Adam……. I thought it would be cool for him. He relented….. but he threatened Adam within an inch of his life if he misbehaved during dinner. Weird. I had no concerns about Adam whatsoever. 
The kitchen was ablaze that week. What happened is kind of a blur. Finally, the Russians arrived at our doorstep, young and beautiful people as well as the conductor. Woohoo, we got the conductor! They presented me with flowers. Hors D’oeuvres and dinner were wonderful, no international incidents. Conversation was excellent. And then came time for dessert……… and the reason for this post. I know, I know…….. I’m getting there.
We took a slight break after dinner for drinks, to mingle, and let the staff set up the table for dessert. When we sat back down, the Russians presented me with a beautifully wrapped gift, thick white paper, with ribbon so exquisite I saved it for my Christmas tree. Inside the package, an intricately engraved solid silver vodka flask. It was beautiful and heavy. A small gift is typical for such an occasion but this….., well…., this was extraordinary.
I wanted to “return” the gift, but had nothing planned. I looked down the table at my ex and said, “I’ll be back in a minute.” Full tilt, I ran to the attic and rummaged for my Christmas ornaments. I’ve been making intricate, pearl/sequin/beaded/lace Christmas ornaments since I was a kid… and got better and better over the years. I have hundreds of them. They were personal, something which I made with my hands, “of me and to them” Frankly, they were inspired by Faberge Eggs. I found a wooden box, lined it with a piece of scrap red velvet, and came back downstairs to present each orchestra member with a Christmas ornament as a token of their visit to America.
Presentations made and into dessert, I looked down the table and noticed the first violinist, a beautiful young blond woman, was crying. She was choked up, couldn’t help it, could not stop, and the situation was unavoidable at the table. She told us why……
She was holding her Christmas Ornament, looking over every angle, turning it around, dangling it by the hanger, as light from the chandelier reflected off rhinestones and shot rainbows around the walls of the room. She was a spectacularly beautiful woman and I recall trying to decide if the ornament or she was more perfect at that particular moment. She turned to me and said, “May God Bless You.”, and she said it such an eerie and serious way, everyone at the table became quiet.
She explained to us, since “The Revolution” and throughout the Cold War, her family was dispersed all over the Soviet Bloc countries. Most of her family were professional musicians, highly trained, rigorous schedules at an early age, and in demand by her government. Others around the table nodded in agreement, giving me the impression they had similar experiences…… eerie….. something an American could never understand. She continued. They kept up with each other over the generations but never were together for Christmas or Easter, to share traditions, food, and play music together as a family. She wove a story for us, of her various uncles, her mother, cousins, all in different cities, like a timeline of Russian classical music, but quite personal to her. I was spellbound. For the first time, this year, the churches were open. They were free to worship and travel. Her extended family planned to all be together, finally…… She sobbed uncontrollably and we waited for her to compose herself ……. It would be their first Christmas tree in almost 80 years…….. and mine would be her first ornament on the tree.
…….. speechless.
She hit me with a truckload of emotion. The tears rose from the base of my spine and came out through my eyes. I had no idea of the importance of Christmas to her. How could I have known? As Americans, we so often take for granted our freedoms. I was frozen to my chair and it took a moment to recover. She arose to hug me and I was unsteady, still in a stupor. I looked over her shoulder…..even my ex-husband was wiping a tear. It was a profoundly moving experience.
But the story has a strange twist, for Adam….
That evening, my ex-husband and I were talking to the conductor. We checked up and the younger members of the orchestra were missing…. along with Adam. We located them in the library, playing a simple American video game on our office computer. Foreshadowing of things to come? Adam made “friends” with the Russians. Time to face facts, they were closer in age and interests.
The next day after the school performance, the teachers held a “kids reception” where the school kids could talk to the orchestra members. Apparently, Adam was the big man on campus that day…. as he knew so many of the Russians…….. cuz they were at his house the previous evening. Instead of being polite and mentor-like, the orchestra members hugged Adam when they saw him. It further cemented the relationship. As I catered the evening performance, Adam ran into his Russian buddies again, at the reception.
Suddenly, Adam was interested in anything Russian…… art, the Russian Orthodox Church, history, wars, political systems….. and the world got a whole lot smaller in our house. Adam talked about Russia like it was Florida, and where we would go for spring break. He didn’t understand why we couldn’t go and visit…….. just like we would go to grandma’s. In his mind, there was no difference.
Flash forward six months.
My ex-husband and Adam were at morning coffee one day, where the “men” meet and discuss business of the town. One hardware store owner, Kenny (also a member of the Arts Council who hosted a Russian Symphony member), was quite active in his church and had recently returned from a Russian church mission. He took a local optometrist, along with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of optometry equipment and eyeglasses. Kenny was whining and complaining because Russian “customs” confiscated his equipment for days and he had to call our Senator to get it “out of hock”. He was telling his harrowing story when young Adam piped up at the table.
According to my ex-husband, Adam BLASTED Mr. Kenny for disparaging “his Russian friends”. Adam was the quiet and passive kid, totally unlike Gunner. He was 9yrs old but defending those he perceived as buddies, “I have a LOT of Russian friends……..They’re NOT bad people……Don’t you ever say anything bad about my friends again…..We like the same games….. the same food (the meal I served was Adam’s favorite)……… and we both love Christmas……” or words to that effect. Ex-husband was mortified and made Adam apologize, of course… but Adam sulked, still angry.
Ahhhhh, the mind of a child……… we’re really not that different after all, food, a longing for connection to family, time worn traditions, the magic of Christmas, curiosity for new computer games, and Adam knew it…….., at least as much as he could understand. Similar Christian based ethics? Who knows…..
Detente? Maybe?