Online Dating ~ Feast or Famine

While the Dems continue to behave badly, I thought I would spit out a few stories. This one has a happy ending. It’s a story about taking a chance, trusting your own instincts, and love.
Online dating can be a feast or famine experience. Our preconceived notions get in the way, part of the human condition. Sometimes, when we finally meet the person, we can be pleasantly surprised, or horrified. One thing is certain, there doesn’t seem to be a middle ground.
Because we are a B&B, we have hosted an unusually high number of these “first meetings”. You know me, I stay in the kitchen and mind my own business. Yet, the drama unfolds. Here’s my story.
I got a phone call from a young woman, super efficient, business type. She booked two rooms, both her and her girlfriend were meeting their online beaus for the first time. If things went well, the couples would share rooms. If things didn’t go well, then the girls would share rooms. Okay, fine. Memorial Day weekend, so they would be together for a while. My husband curled his eyebrow and said, “Could be an interesting weekend”.
Professional woman arrived first. She was great. She came straight from an office, dressed in a suit. She was rather rotund and homely, but strong and capable. She told me the other female would be a very late arrival…. Okay with me.
Professional woman went to pick up her guy at the airport and they returned. Other guy arrived in an upscale BMW with Texas plates. He was wearing cowboy boots.
One guy, her guy, was the “famine” side of online dating. He was from Oregon, couldn’t have been 5’2″, and she was quite tall. They looked odd together but hey, for every sock there is a sneaker. He made Pete Butegeig look like John Wayne. She was disappointed. I felt sorry for the guy.
The other guy made my toes curl. He was an international pipeline trouble shooter for Amoco, lived in Houston. Oh, ladies, that man had swagger and a twinkle in his eye. We couldn’t wait to see what his “match” would look like. Amoco guy was definitely “the feast” side of online dating.
The three went out for dinner, one girl still missing. She was working on her PhD in psych and volunteered for a suicide hot-line but could not get loose until late. I was in bed, fast asleep, …..left her a key.
Next morning, Amoco guy was up early with husband drinking coffee in the kitchen. They were sharing parts of the paper while I started breakfast. I broke the silence and finally asked him, “So, what do you think of her?” Amoco guy peered over the paper at my husband, knowing glance, and said, “Everything is good.” Well, gheez, I was hoping for a little more, but the guys weren’t talking. I was staring at him, looking for more details, and he said, “I think she will sleep in until late, don’t count on her for breakfast.” Well, she didn’t get here until almost 1:00am. I made adjustments to the egg count.
Professional woman and Oregon came down, had breakfast quickly and left to tour sites. I swear, she unrolled his napkin for him, but they seemed to be getting along quite well. They were on a tight schedule. Amoco guy was still sitting in the kitchen…. being a guy. He even helped me dry the breakfast dishes. What a gentleman.
About 10:30am, she appeared, still wearing her pajamas, and she looked like a goddess, about 5’10”, natural light blond, big blue eyes, and as my husband said, “the body of a Penthouse Pet”. She had just woken up, not a stitch of makeup, and was hunting for coffee. We all talked for a while, I liked her. She was “sweet” and “a good girl”. She went back upstairs to take a shower and get dressed. Amoco guy asked me if I could make them a picnic lunch……. he had something up his sleeve. I found a picnic basket and put together some sandwiches, fruit, and leftovers. He helped me like a member of the family, and off they went.
Oregon and biz chic returned mid-afternoon. It rained on them and Oregon guy looked like he was dragged behind the car the whole way home. He took a nap on a couch. Biz chic was reading a book when I went upstairs to make beds. The tone had turned = not good.
Amoco and the goddess did not return until after dark. About 9:30pm, I was getting ready for bed when Amoco knocked on the door to our section of the house. I had sweats on but came to the door. He said, “I need your help, can I talk to you for a minute?” I told him to come in and shut the door behind him. He was whispering.
So, there we were, standing in the middle of the laundry room, with my piles of sheets. He asked if I could make another picnic for them tomorrow. No problem, agreed. Then, he told me he needed an engagement ring. I put my hand back to brace myself on the dryer, “Are you sure you want to do this?”, I asked him. He nodded. I asked again. He was 110% sure. He struck me as the kind of man who knows what he wants.
Then, we thought about what to do. This isn’t Houston where the Galleria is open until 10:00pm and we could wander in and pick up a big diamond. Where were we going to get an engagement ring between 9:30pm on Saturday night and 10:00am on Sunday morning? In the middle of our little town?
He thought I had the answer.
He looked at me, like I could twitch my nose and make diamonds appear, like I did it all the time…… I started thinking. “Okay”, I said, “Obviously she will want to pick out her own ring, eventually. Southern women are very particular about comfort level of  the wedding ring they will wear for the rest of their lives.” He agreed and was nodding. I continued, “So…., you really just need ‘a ring’, as a symbol of your intentions, …….. right?” He decided he could do that, and I was probably right, she would want to choose her own ring. Some women like a simple band, some want a big rock, etc. I told him I had my grandmother’s or my mom’s ring which he could borrow for the occasion.
We were digging in my jewelry box in the bathroom when my husband wandered in and said, “Are we having a party in the bathroom?” Guy moment. Amoco guy told husband he was proposing and I was helping. We left him in the bathroom and moved back to the laundry piles. He picked mom’s ring, and I was sworn to secrecy.
Next morning, big breakfast, everyone there. Biz chic and Oregon back to touring for the day. Amoco and goddess off to the countryside with another picnic. Amoco had the ring.
Amoco and goddess returned late afternoon. I heard nothing about the big event…. waiting…. waiting…… Biz chic and Oregon returned late. I was in the kitchen, cleaning up our dinner dishes, when the two girls burst through the door.
Huge discussion. Amoco had proposed to the goddess and she thanked me for the “temporary ring”. Biz chic was obviously the dominant friend and was counseling her on a “life-altering” decision. Was she sure? Did she want to wait to finish her PhD? Where would they live? What about HER career? Did she really want to move to Texas? What would her parents think? A million questions from biz chic. All through it, the goddess seemed very innocent, naive, pure, and true. She was a perfect stereotype of a “good girl”. I was quiet but I could tell, the business chic was making goddess uneasy about her decision to say “yes”.
Ever so casually, the goddess mentioned….. “Well, I need to decide because he is leaving on a job for 6 weeks in Greece and he wants me to go with him.”
I stopped washing dishes, straightened up, and said, …….”What did you say?”
Goddess: He wants to stay here for a few more days and get married so my folks could be here for the wedding and we can honeymoon in Greece. Or we could get married in Greece, but my folks would miss it. Or, we can stay engaged for a while (she shuffled her feet on the last option = big tell)
Biz chic (sensing she was losing her best friend): This is all too fast, he needs to slow down.
Goddess: (sad face) But we’ve known each other for a year, I love him.
Biz chic: You don’t know anything about him. (lots of frowning and scowling) What about your work?
Goddess: I volunteer, and I like to help people, but this is the man I love.
Goddess: (Exasperated and almost asking permission of the biz chic to have her own life. And then she said it. She hesitated and second guessed herself,) “I suppose there is no harm in a long engagement……”
Biz Chic: (Happy —- for herself.)
Me: (Waving my arms) Stop. Do you love this man and you’re sure he’s the one? (yes) Will your parents love him as much as you do?(yes) Will he be a wonderful husband and father?(yes)
I banged a pan on the counter and startled them both. I said, “Well then, when opportunity knocks, you need to open the damn door.”
Goddess: Beaming. It was what she wanted to do all along.
Me: Do you want your folks to be here? (Goddess nodding, yes) Then, we’re having a wedding. Call your folks.
She called from the kitchen phone. We had the wedding on Wednesday. It worked. Off they went to Greece.
They sent us Christmas cards for many years…….. six kids.
When the right one comes along, you know. Trust your instincts. Live a happy life and love that person 110%.
end
 
 

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michaelh

But… what happened to biz chic and Oregon???

Plain Jane

She gave Mr. Peepers a reason to live? She spent the rest of her life dictating to him? Mr. Peepers met with a sudden urge to run, and he did. And he lived happily ever after.

Plain Jane

Eiiiiyyy! Sat on your counter! Just as bad as a briefcase or purse on my dining room table, or worse.

rayzorbak

Seems to me that “Biz chick” was not looking for “Love”……
She was looking for a “Biz” partner.
She sounds Bitchy/Bossy to me.
Oregon should be happy the way it turned out.
A life full of Hen Pecking isn’t much of a life at all.

Plain Jane

Oh DNW, I love a love story. Thank you for writing.
When you need an editor for your book, holler. Our daughter might be available.

Deplorable Patriot

Begin with short stories and your own blog. Eventually, it will gel.

michaelh

I think that’s the beauty of using an editor. You have a pile of stories and you can get an outsider’s view of how to put it together.

Plain Jane

Contract with a good editor to put your shorts in an appealing order. Make it a book of shorts.

nikkichico7

There must be an editor person here in the Q tree, …. they’d already know you and such …

Plain Jane

My daughter is an editor and she is persnickety about only doing wholesome books. Friends, religious, family oriented, etc. Not sure how she’s scheduled at this time. She was doing stuff electronically.

nikkichico7

I bet she does well with it and knows her p’s and q’s …. I wish her the best Plain Jane .. ❤️

Plain Jane

TY. She has had all her stuff together since she wrote her first check for her univ tuition 38 years ago…she phoned us and told us how she felt knowing how many pots she scrubbed at the Supper Club, through HS, to be able to write that check. We were slave drivers. Hee, hee. The boys busted their butts working at the golf course. 🙂

nikkichico7

Well kudos to you and DH Plain Jane, what a gift you inspired in your children … a work ethic and achievement of their life goals …
It’s just wonderful … so happy for your family .. 🙂❤️

Plain Jane

Thank you, but it was God, not me. 🙂 I turned to Him, His Mom, and the angels all the time. Plus, my mom had a great work ethic. When we had a store and after my dad died, she had me sweep the sidewalk in front of our property. Dad and mom taught me to wait on customers from age 8. Calculate price and change on paper, etc.
After daddy died when I was 10, mom had to go to work. All through 6, 7 and part of grade 8, I opened the store to make and sell hamburgers, grilled cheeses and shakes for the small school lunch crowd from the school 3 doors down from our store. I opened it after school also. She worked her butt off in the store after she got home from work. It was the only way for us to get on our feet.

nikkichico7

God bless you Plain Jane, I’m sorry for the loss of your father .. it’s hard whenyour just ten but your mother was a firm foundation for you and I admire her and you … 🙂🤚❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Plain Jane

Praise God. Thank you nikki
My dad was divorced before he met my mother. They were both Catholic and could not receive the sacraments once they married. They didn’t cut and run or leave the church. They attended every Sunday and Holy Day, and brought us up in the faith. They were special and I feel blessed.

nikkichico7

I’m glad for you, and your parents were a blessing to you and you pass this on, … that’s God’s love in action. You have my regards always ..

Deplorable Patriot

My novels are a little racy, but I have a rule: no true bedroom scenes. Fade to black, or just not have them in the story. It’s the story that’s important, not so much the sex.

Plain Jane

Yes. Racy fine in story context or as imitating real life. Descriptive sex, not fine. 🙂

A Fortiori

You have already begun. My friend the book publisher tells me that if you want to write a book, you need to tell a story. You have already told us several, and it is obvious you know how to do the key thing that needs to be done.
My suggestion would be to think about a theme – something to bind together a set of stories that might otherwise seem disjointed. Then use this theme to guide you in determining which stories to deploy and what to emphasize within the stories. And, of course, the title must be derived from the theme.
I don’t pretend to know how to do this (and you are getting this for free, so consider that it may be worth what you are paying for it), but perhaps you could put several of your stories side by side and evaluate whether certain thematic elements seem to recur. I note, for example, you seem to have an uncanny ability to snap into action in a way that is particularly appropriate to the people you encounter, which seems to derive from an ability to both promptly and accurately read people. Perhaps this suggests a theme — how to really read people in order to improve your interactions with them, or maybe how to develop the ability to find a wider array of ways to positively interact with people.

Katie

It just hit me!
Daughn, your writing style is very similar to James Herriot, the author of “All Creatures Great and Small”, “All Things Bright and Beautiful”, “All Things Wise and Wonderful”, and “The Lord God Made Them All”. He was a veterinarian in northern England and wrote about the animals, their humans, and other people in his life. He made you laugh, cry, cheer, and celebrate the unique people and experiences in his life.
Each chapter was a stand alone story along the way, and the series became a massive best seller. Reading your stories is so similar to reading his books…you really should pursue sharing your gift with the world.

Gail Combs

daughnworks247 …
“I would have no idea where to begin. “
….
I strongly suggest you read All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot a vet in Yorkshire, England. It is a series of short stories about his work as a vet in the 1930-40s. It is very much the type of book you should write.
As far as writing goes. The best advice is WRITE!
Since you will be doing a series of connected short stories it does not matter where you start. Organizing them comes later.
If you were writing a novel you would start with an outline and character discriptions for each character but that is not the type of book you are writing.

churchmouse

Your husband must know someone in Boston, surely?

wheatietoo

Love it…I love a good love story!
😀🥰👍
And nicely written, Daughn, as always.

Brave and Free

Thanks Daughn, we always can count on you to lighten the mood around here with another one of your great story’s. Excellent as always.

Deplorable Patriot

Having a fair amount of experience at the online dating game, and having given it up, I will say that such success is RARE. I mean RARE. Amoco man and the goddess are what everyone wants on those sites, and those are the sorts of people who generally don’t have to resort to them. And on the Catholic dating sites, the guys want what they think the Blessed Virgin Mary is in a model’s body. Or an athlete. And there’s an expiration date on the ladies. 35. After that, save your money and travel, you’ve got a better shot meeting people on tours.
Online dating sites are no different, really, than meat markets, and it’s amazingly unnatural. The one thing filling out those profiles does, though, for thoughtful people, anyway, is get you to know yourself better.

Deplorable Patriot

That’s why I say that if God wants me married, he’s going to drop the guy in my lap. Not yet, apparently. I’m busy taking care of everyone else, and reffing family conflicts.

andyocoregon

I think one of my neighbors is The Oregon Guy. He’s still available if you would like to hook up. 😉

Deplorable Patriot

Thank you, no.

andyocoregon

Aw c’mon, he’s a lonely old guy and claims he didn’t do those murders he was convicted of many years ago. He’s a certified mortician and knows how to help people look their best. Whad’ya say?

Deplorable Patriot

I’d rather be stuck with an engineer.

smiley2

if Ted Bundy had a son ? lol

andyocoregon

A mortician is sort of an engineer.
Tell you what D.P., send me your email address and I’ll put you in touch with him. He wears 8″ lift shoes so you wouldn’t look too silly standing beside him.
Oh and I forgot to mention he’s an elder in the local Satanic Temple. But you wouldn’t hold that against him, would you?

Deplorable Patriot

Nah. But I might stock the bar with lighter fluid.

andyocoregon

Oh my.

rayzorbak

One moar chapter in the book 🙂
Great way to start the day.
Thanks again Daughn.

singingsoul1

Daughn again a wonderful story . Thank you for sharing 🙂
I met my husband when visiting my great uncle in the DDR and I was 16. My husband walked through the door with his cousin’s husband. My husband was 19 at the time. We spoke for two hours when my grandmother decides it was to dangerous to leave me with an American and took me back to her home.
Two weeks after the encounter I got a card from my husband asking me if could meet him in Hannover at the train station he had three hours before traveling to Bremen and take a ship back to NYC.
I said no.
He kept writing and we became pen pearls for three years. A friend from the family just had come back visiting Queens NY and had met through a friend my husband’s parents. All the German’s in Queens kind of knew each other.
My husband’s family invited me to the Worlds Fair in NY. I accepted and was now 19 going on 20. My husband was 22 and funny did not look no longer unfinished as he did when he was 19.
He told me the moment he met me at 16 he knew I was it but I had no clue. He ask me how I liked the US and we got engaged and weeks later we got married. Before we got married I went to immigration and 9 moths later had my green card.
When his friends got back from vacationing from Europe to congratulate us on engagement they were shocked that we had married. My husband was not about to let me go back.
Yesterday was our 54th wedding anniversary 🙂

smiley2

wonderful 🙂
WONDERFUL ! 😀 <3
Congratulations to you and your husband.
great love story.

singingsoul1

Thank you 🙂
I think when you write as friends you get to know much about the person. I used to tell him in letters about my dating he used to write about studying. Later I found out my letters drove him crazy and if I had not come he would have come to Germany.
He is first Generation American but speaks fluent German because at home they spoke German and he also took German in University. He speaks more German than I. He is responsible that I have a continental accent instead of German. He disliked when Germans replaced the th with d.
My husband’s father came from what is now Romania but when he was born was the Austrian Hungarian Empire.
He was Austrian German decent and spoke an Austrian accent German.

smiley2

writing letters to The One We Love is so romantic…and it’s become a lost art….nothing like anticipating the next letter in the mail…with just a hint of mystery and allure.
..and just a hint of perfume SWAK <3
I'd take all that over a Selfie, any day.

Deplorable Patriot

Oh, how lovely…and you understanding poetry is a bonus! Some of us just don’t have that gift.

nikkichico7

Beautiful story, I love it singing … I’m so happy for you and hubby ❤️

singingsoul1

daughnworks247
“Goosebumps!
What a wonderful story, Singing Soul.
He knew you were the one.”
__________________________________________
Yes he knew when we met but he acted like a jerk at 19 that should have been the tip off.
Thank God he matured when I came to NYC and had grown into a confident secure man.

notasmidgeon

So beautiful and uplifting…….just what ever Mom would want for their son or daugh. Put a spark in my otherwise slow day. Thank you for sharing this story.