“Once you go Y, the competition will die.”
Anonymous
That is the word on the street in the sports world, and it is absolutely true.
Mind-bendingly, shockingly, horrifyingly true.
There have been other drugs that have upended sports.
Cortisone. Testosterone. Synthetic anabolic steroids. Erythropoietin. Human growth hormone.
None of them – not one – compares to a revolutionary new drug called Y.
“Y is unstoppable. If you have Y, the only person who is going to beat you is somebody else using it. It’s that powerful.”
Coach Stefan Cañon, Olentangy University
There is a reason for this, too.
We talked to sports physiologist Dr. Buffy McMaster at Mahrahsha State University outside of Washington, DC, about Y, and why this drug is so powerful.
“Biochemically speaking, Y gets beneath EVERYTHING. Y actually MAKES your body MAKE steroids. I am not kidding. Y is not a steroid. Y isn’t even a normal drug if you swallow it. It does absolutely nothing if you swallow it. But if it is injected at just the right time, typically prenatally at around -0.75 y.o., it’s like some alien parasite – it takes over and turns a normal woman into a BEAST. It has her body itself cranking out testosterone at shocking levels.”
I asked McMaster if Y is safe. She actually laughed at me. The answer was not what any mother of a healthy daughter wants to hear.
“Absolutely not. Y shortens a woman’s lifetime by about 10 years – if she’s lucky. Y increases deaths in almost every risk category and every disease, except breast, uterine, and ovarian cancers. For some reason, Y avoids those diseases entirely. More research is definitely needed there.”
The problems that Y poses for the sports world don’t just stop with medical issues. Detection of Y is another problem that has leaders in the Olympics and championship records parts of the sports world biting their nails.
I discussed this issue with retired forensic analytical chemist Rosie Ruiz-Rosenstein, Ph.D.
“We can detect Y in SOME women – mostly in younger women who don’t bleed. Often they have penises. But since it’s OK for them to be using Y, that eliminates their cases, and we are left with an enigma. In the remaining cases, we can’t detect Y whatsoever. So the whole thing sucks, and we can’t legally detect Y at all. It’s very frustrating.”
Another mystery of Y is that it is only a problem in women. However, there is an analogous problem drug in men – something called X.
Drug geneticist Rosalind Parke-Davis explained.
“Y presents massive over-performance problems in women. X, on the other hand, presents UNDER-performance problems in men. So much so, that we often refer to these two mirror image problems together as the ‘XY’ problem.”
Under-performance is in fact a very rare drug problem in the sports world. Because of this, there are very few granular constructs able to deal with it. We talked with sports ethicist Wolfdance Sun-Moon about this specific problem.
“Men who bleed are unfairly stigmatized for the high rate of X use in their cohort. The problem of discrimination against them is real, persistent, and it’s not going away. Therefore, we are developing tools to deal with it, such as “starter points”, score normalization, pass/fail competition, and pass/pass competition. All of these tools are showing great promise in removing discriminatory behaviors from men’s sports where X use is on the rise.”
Finally, we talked with lucid nutbag anticommunist Wolf Moon, author of this blog. He explained everything to us.
“Look, Wolf, I have come up with an ingenious way to END the problem. We take all the MALE X addicts and FEMALE non-addicts and put them together as “A TEAM”. Then we take all the FEMALE Y addicts and MALE non-addicts and make them “B TEAM”. These two teams are what I am calling “Mixed Normalized Diverse Drug-Challenged Bi-gender Groups”. For reasons most people don’t understand, people cluster into these two mixed groups. We simply accept these odd diverse groups as natural outcomes of socialism, and let them stand as a monument to human understanding. Then we let individuals compete within these two groups separately, operating as a form of mixed cultural and biological safe spaces, and live happily ever after in socialist unity.”
I don’t know. It almost sounds too good to be true.
W
Reference: HERE.
Realgaryseven I’ll just tack on here.
Celebration and yet still our enemies laying sucker-punches on us. I’ve been praying b/c I’m burdened in spirit, elated at God’s faithfulness to us and Wolf, but I’m also completely pissed off with my/our enemies who continue to cheat and steal and destroy every cheap shot they can.
Now I’ve been wanting to post a prayer publicly here but I’ve been at a total loss to express here to share what’s on my heart and share a prayer that captures it well. I’ve finally got something, hopefully this is over the target…
Dear Lord, please hear our cries when we call out to you!
Remember us in our distress Refresh our spirits in your boundless love.
Strengthen our souls, give us renewed vigor that overtakes our fatigue
Renew our steadfast resolve for your righteousness oh Lord!
Provide us with your divine wisdom and discernment that we may know your will
Move us Lord to the rightful place in your plan
Fulfill your great divine strategies through us Lord
Let us not falter or fear but take courage and boldly advance in your work
Frustrate the plans of our enemies; let their schemes fall back on them!
Let the strength of our enemies fail them, and let their horses fall from exhaustion
Expose their wickedness Lord, humiliate those who mock your Law
Bring justice upon them swiftly as a an eagle snatches its prey!
Remember your people in the day of judgement!
Raise up the righteous and faithful ones, exalt them
Place them in the seats of kings and judges to rule in righteousness, wisdom, and glory
Cast out all fear from those you have called
Fill them with your spirit, the strength of will, and the character of righteousness
Aim your people on the strategic targets, make every one count
Pull them back like arrows in a bow, release them swiftly to strike!
Bring victory over our enemies and restore victory to your people
Make the nations exclaim, who can stand against the Lord and His people?
For their God fights with them and none can stand in battle against them!
The nations will surrender their arms, their armies will not advance in battle for the fear of God!
Let the nations praise you and know that you are God.