The Mayor, "You better tell me right now, is Donald Trump at your house?"

We’re going to have to build up to the punchline of this story. Can’t give away the goods right away. Ya’ know? So, grab a cup of covfefe and settle in for a few moments.
We opened for business in 1994 as a B&B. The same year, Tunica, MS, opened the first casino, other than Atlantic City or Vegas. The place was a dive and looked like a blown up version of a cheap mobile home but it didn’t matter. The place was a CASH COW. In fact, the Casino made so much money in the beginning days, they had to close down, to bring in more people, so they had enough time to count all the money.
The people who ran “The Splash Casino” came to see me, as there was no hotel space anywhere close by. They offered to take all my rooms for year, and pay me quite well. Yet, they wanted all the rooms. If I was a contractor and they “owned me”, we would have no independence. Husband had visions of wild gamblers, tearing apart the home we worked so hard to restore. Not what a biz owner wants. We would rather have 100 companies than solely contracted to one. “What are you going to do if they bring in a bunch of hookers?”, he said, “How are you going to tell them, NO?” The realization washed over me. “Hookers….?”, I thought. My eyebrows twitched like the tail of a squirrel. “Grandma Della would disown me……”, of course, I turned them down.
By ’95, we were open about a year and in full swing, but as most small biz owners can relate, I was worried about the NEXT month. The house was pristine, renovated from top to bottom by my new husband, the best historical renovation contractor within 100 miles – and it was his own home. Our banker REALLY wanted me to fail. His wife loved my house. At that point, there was no business I turned down. Pressure was on, I had to be successful, failure was not an option.
Outside of our little town, we had a local printing plant which printed monthly periodicals and magazines for clients all over the world. Their clients would come to visit to negotiate large contracts, or their editors would visit for press-checks. Many of them stayed with us, and the printing company was a terrific client. As we started decorating for Christmas, one local exec asked me if he could host a private luncheon, for new clients they were trying to impress. I took the job. It was lunch, I thought…… easy peasy.
With help from a few overeducated-housewife-girlfriends as my makeshift staff, and Grandma Della washing dishes, the first luncheon was a rousing success. One luncheon melded into 10, then 20. Before long, I was raking in $1500 a day, for high end luncheons, as hundreds of millions of dollars traded hands over my dining room table. Then, the company decided to do long, private dinners, with several courses. Fine entertaining, and the big southern white house. We had to “take it up a notch”. No problem. As the staff said, “Martha Stewart ain’t got shit on us.”
All the activity at our house began to attract attention. I thought, “Hey, if the townspeople were talking about me, maybe they would leave someone else alone.” I brushed it off. Everyone wanted to know what was happening, who was coming, what I was cooking. People began to stop me in the grocery store, picking through items in the basket,  and asking me about recipes. It was a little weird. Yet, I was quiet and secretive about our guests, respecting their privacy.
Pam was a 6th grade teacher at the school next door to the house. Her classroom looked out into our driveway. She was also the spinster sister of my husband’s first wife, and a horrible gossip. At one point, she was convinced she saw a naked man, through lace-covered windows, upstairs in our house (which would have been impossible to discern from her vantage point). Then, she saw the man run out of the house, quickly (executive late for work). He left, ……..then returned, ……with a black bag, “big enough for a weapon” (his briefcase – he forgot the receipt for his expense account), as she would later describe to police. Yes, she called the police, as she explained, because she was worried I had been murdered, “cuz I was alone with that foreign-looking man in a big house”. Four police cars responded, including the Chief, “cuz Miss Daughn was in trouble”.
That’s right, Pam called the police on the President of San Diego Home and Garden.
We were working so hard, we barely had time to breath. At the time, I didn’t even have a car. Everything we had went into the renovation. A buddy lent me his daughter’s car for a little while to run errands. Pam knew the car and wondered who was living at my house (a new rumor she could spread). Pam should have worked for CNN. She would have been wonderful speculating about the Russian Hoax. A few weeks later, I was sitting in the car, in the driveway, making out my bank deposit slip. From the corner of my eye, I spotted Pam, walking our wrought-iron fence line, staring at the windows of our home, straining to see any activity. As she came even with the car, I LAID on the horn and scared the heck out of her. I rolled down the window and said, “Will you PLEASE leave me alone? You’re embarrassing yourself.” As she scurried back to her classroom, the realization hit me, I needed to calm people down and be a little more public. Work within the system, the small town culture, and not cause such a ruckus. Who would have known luncheons and dinners could be so exciting?
My mother-in-law was a perfect press agent for the older ladies. I gave her copies of menus and various recipes and photos of tables. At McDonald’s afternoon covfefe, the ladies had much to discuss. Mother-in-law was happy ….. and the ladies gave me a LOT of handy tips. For the younger women, I relented and told the staff they could talk about what we served, and what we did, but NEVER who was here. For a few weeks, our new plan of information dissemination seemed to be working.
Of course, all that changed when the black limousines arrived and lined up in front of the house, four of them in a row.
It was a Thursday.
The town has cattle auctions on Thursday, and one of my best staff members handled the tickets for the auction. It put us down, one strong staff member, but our printing client really needed to schedule a big luncheon……. that Thursday. The lower-level exec customers spent the night with us. Therefore, by morning, we were all familiar with each other. One guy went for a jog before breakfast and noticed a large “wounded” German Shepard in a neighbor’s yard. I went out to check. No, it was a loose calf….. which is why it didn’t “come when he called it”. We straightened out that problem before 7:00am. The functionaries, who spent the night with me, went off to the plant after breakfast. The big bosses were flying in for lunch on the corporate jet. We would all meet back at our house at noon.
The girls arrived and we whipped into action.
About 11:40am, the sedans with execs from the plant arrived, and they tried to nose their way into the kitchen. Pretty soon, maybe ten minutes later, the limo’s arrived, four of them, one for each big boss, and lined up, the whole breadth of my wrought-iron fence. The bosses filed into the house. I was… you know…. being social and introducing everyone to each other. Hors d’oeuvres were ready, and the kitchen was humming. Everything was perfect, on schedule…… when the phone rang.
A girlfriend rushed out of the kitchen and told me the Mayor was on the phone, demanding to speak with me. I was confused, but okay, fine. I went to the phone, leaving my guests. I was annoyed, a little bit, because he was putting a kink in my schedule. He said, “You better tell me right now, is Donald Trump at your house?” I had no idea what he was talking about but very curious as to how he got the impression the billionaire from New York was at my house in Mississippi. Not willing to let on and sensing an opportunity, out loud, I said, “You know I cannot and will not tell you who is a guest of this house. It’s private.” I hung up on him.
I turned to go back to the guests, but before I left, the phone rang again. It was our good staff member at the cattle auction across town, “Is Donald Trump at your house?” 
“What was she talking about?”, I thought. Something was going on, but I still had no clue. Was Trump supposed to be here?, I wondered. Unwilling to relent, I replied, “Well……, not yet, but ya’ never know who will show up here.” Trying to close the conversation and get back to serving, I told her the big bosses were here and we had to go. She said, “I can’t BELIEVE I’m missing Donald Trump”, which I had neither confirmed nor denied.. at all.
8 minutes to serving time, two staff members filling iced tea and water glasses.
I was still on the phone with girlfriend at the cattle auction, when the Mayor burst through the back door. He had a full head of steam and he was pointing at me. He was 6’4″ and 100% alpha male, “You ARE going to tell me WHO is in that dining room, right now.” and “If Donald Trump is going to put a casino, here, in Tunica, I deserve to know, NOW!” I was blockading the dining room door. I started, “No, you cannot go in there.” We were friendly-arguing with the Mayor, in a too small kitchen, on top of other women who were trying to keep to the schedule – to serve my best client in less than 5 minutes. I noticed my girlfriends, who had all been in the kitchen prior to the big bosses arriving, were whispering to each other, suddenly curious about who was in the front of the house.
The buzzer for the bread went off, …..time, ……ticking away. 4 minutes to serving time, I really needed to be in the dining room. 3 minutes left, but before I could recover, husband burst through the back door. “SHhhhhhhhhhh!”, I insisted, silencing them all. Husband countered, “Is Donald Trump in our fu$king dining room?
Everyone looked at me like it was 3 minutes to Christmas morning. “No, Donald Trump is not in the dining room.”, I said, disappointing them all…… Finally, “Why do you all think Donald Trump is here?”, as I had no idea how they got the impression in the first place. Lots of grumbles and shuffling of feet. “Stay here”, I said to husband and Mayor. We presented the bread and salads and went back to the kitchen for answers. I caught the Mayor peeking out of the dining room door, confirming Donald Trump was NOT in my dining room.
In the ten minutes between salad and soup, we figured out the mystery. Apparently, no limousine service in Memphis had 4 black Mercedes limousines available at the same time. Thus, they ‘borrowed’ four limousines from the current casino. The license plates all read, Trump 1, Trump 2, Trump 3, and Trump 4.
The rumor spread like a wildfire, “Donald Trump is at Daughn’s house.”
To compound the rumor, we were trying to be nice and fed the limo drivers a lovely lunch. One of the guys helping me that day was a big guy, former Navy. With all the black tuxedoed limo drivers and my big Navy guy – they turned into the “Security Detail” for Donald Trump.
No, it was really just lunch.
Gotta love a small town.
2 20am eastern time

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Gudthots

Daughn, if you don’t write a book, someone is going to take all your posts and publish one for you!

Wolf Moon | Threat to Demonocracy

She’s writing a book. There’s no other reasonable explanation for all these great stories! 😀

rayzorbak

Book Title:
“Making America Great Again 24/7”

Marica

Daughn!! T3 is so freakin right!!! You will always Be our Renaissance Girl! We are blessed to know you! We are proud to be your virtual friend–Bucket List– Go to Daughn.s B&B with All My peeps from Wolfies tree!!

Alison

The great expose of 2020 CNN #FakeNews … “Donald Trump spotted shagging hookers at Daughn’s Casino Crash Pad”. Video at 11.

Wolf Moon | Threat to Demonocracy

OH MY!
LOOOOOOL

pgroup

Imagine if you told the mayor that he MIGHT be in the restroom but you’ve been too busy to know for sure.

Alison

Daughn – Hookers aside, I wanna know about the trysts and sexcapades and near misses with spouse checking up on *ahem* working husbands.
One of our favorite stories from our Vermont bicycle tour was the predictable row during cocktail hour after our long day on the pedal pushers. Let me tell you Vermont – unlike Colorado – doesn’t use switchbacks on their roads, bike trails or hiking trails. Nope, regardless of the steep incline, Vermonters just head straight uphill.
Each afternoon, as we’d wheel into our new B&B for the evening, there would be a sign in the front lobby with each couples first names and our room assignment. The first two nights downstairs at cocktail hour, we could all hear Ben & Suzy (typical California ‘important’ business gurus carrying the newest, most expensive biking gear) in their room arguing loudly.
Finally someone asked Ben WTF.
Turns out Ben and Suzy had been separated for awhile, and Ben had signed up to bring his younger, buxom girlfriend Caroline on the trip. After signing up with Caroline, Ben & Suzy decided to try a trial reconciliation, and Suzy came on the trip with Ben instead of Caroline.
Unfortunately, communication with our tour guides & B&Bs was sketchy. Consequently each afternoon as Ben & Suzy arrived to check their room assignment, the names on the board were Ben & Caroline. Suzy would drag Ben to their room & rip him a new one for the repeated faux pas. They never did calm down enough to show up for cocktail hour, but would arrive for dinner as if nothing had gone amiss, even though we could all hear their shout sessions.
They were a tad “too important” aka snobbish for us Heartlanders to warm up to them, so the daily soap opera skirmishes became our hors d’oeuvres entertainment.
Fun times. Both B&B owners and guests have lots of tales of human erratic behavior 😊

MA_kswiss

This is great! These stories are just too good to ‘put down’…..perfect comic relief from a 5 (or 6!) skeptical cat day….. I need to take a Daughnworks247 course in storytelling……sheesh!

Wolf Moon | Threat to Demonocracy

AMEN!

Pat Frederick

this was a good one and a needed smile!
I hope you write a book and as I stated before…I’ll buy one AUTOGRAPHED please!
heck if Valjar can write a “best seller” with her face and attitude–yours will have NO problem making the NYT best seller’s list!!

holley100

Storytelling is a lost art. To make them come so alive digitally is a very special talent daughn. Your stories have a human quality that makes them special. 🙂

amwick

Garrison Keillor ain’t got nuttin on dw247!!! I think the secret of being such a wonderful storyteller is the ability to observe…. the devil is in the details, etc etc… Trump1 Trump2…. tooooooooooooooo funny!! TY

GA/FL

My favorite GK were the Café Boeuf episodes.

amwick

You are two of a kind… I can see that, even if you can’t. Which is fine..

nikkichico7

Dear sweet Daughn please never stop sharing your stories … they are … (I know I use it too much but .. )
AWESOME 😎👍❤️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
My, my … my …. 😉❤️‼️

Gail Combs

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
When you write your book Daughn, THAT story should be the first tale as the intro. After reading that people will want to read the whole book.

Wolf Moon | Threat to Demonocracy

AMEN. Yup. Gotta keep that as the CURRENT lede story. Until the NEXT ONE! 😉

ceastar31

Daughn, you are the modern day Fannie Flagg – your stories are entertaining, hilarious, and I love reading each and every one of them. Yes, you need to write a book – a best seller!

golsono

I have, of course, never seen your eyebrows Daugn, but to have them twitching like the tail of a squirrel, is descriptive writing in a class of it’s own, that conveys a level of displeasure, without sounding angry.
You certainly have a captivating way with words.
ps. I live in squirrel country, and am familiar with many of their mannerisms, including tail twitching, swishing and sometimes slapping the ground to ‘voice’ their dissaproval.
The Book is just a matter of time.
Your stories will be read far and wide

kea

I want to come to your B&B now!!!! 😀