2025.04.22 Daily Thread – American Stories: When in the Course of human events – Part 15

It is time for to take a breather of sorts relating to the signers of the Declaration of Independence. We will return to a specific founding father next week. I thought it would be interesting to spend some time on the important value of American women during the period. There was nothing of more importance to America’s survival than the families who lived here. This meant men and women needed to build lives together, get Biblical and multiply. 😉

The role of women in accomplishing the mission of our nation should not be ignored as it was vital to our survival.

Courting

Shall we discuss the ancient art of attraction between females and males? Or is it science; and if it is, is it settled science? 😂

From the Colonial Williamsburg website,

It may be that the traditional route to conjugal correctness—chaste courtship, formal engagement, church wedding, consummation, and parenthood, in that order—is less traveled. But historians say the modern, mixed-up, anything-goes form of bonding that includes physical intimacy and permanent or temporary cohabitation, with children born in or out of wedlock, is not altogether different from some of the practices of segments of seventeenth- and eighteenth-century populations.

As far as chaste courtship is concerned, the good old days have been overrated, almost as mythical as the Standish-Mullins-Alden triangle that Longfellow invented. Blame human nature if you like, but for want of a better phrase, hanky-panky was as prevalent among some eighteenth-century folks as it is among some of the twenty-first’s. Beyond doubt, most people stayed strictly within the bounds of propriety, but in the mid to late 1700s, more than one girl in three was pregnant when she walked down the aisle. In parts of Britain, 50 percent of brides were great with child.

https://research.colonialwilliamsburg.org/Foundation/journal/Holiday07/court.cfm

Well, well, well. It seems some things never change.

There are many sources one can read that reflect on the patriarchal dominated aspects of families during the period. Marriages were often prearranged for business and wealth purposes. The requirement of attraction and love between partners was nearly non existent with some. Outward displays of affection even between married couples were generally frowned upon leading into the Revolutionary War period. Courtship for many was a formal process of marrying two families together to pursue common goals. That is unless you were a commoner in which case you could pair up and just say vows to each other to start cohabitating legally.

With independence and as America began to develop its own ways of doing things, courting practices gradually changed with it. Which leads to the linked story below involving a few founder couples and their marital situations.

https://www.frauncestavernmuseum.org/love-in-the-time-of-revolution-blog

Cupid’s arrow hit some hard as expressed in the following,

“You engross my thoughts too entirely to allow me to think of any thing else—you not only employ my mind all day; but you intrude upon my sleep. I meet you in every dream—and when I wake I cannot close my eyes again for ruminating on your sweetness.” — Alexander Hamilton to Elizabeth Schuyler, October 1780

The Enlightenment era had brought change in many beliefs and practices. As previously discussed it was a major motivator of the attitudes and approaches of Thomas Jefferson. It seems the timing was good for a better way to view courting and marital relationships in America. Below is a section from an article in the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts that describes the change well.

For the men and women who came of age after the Revolution, selecting a marriage partner was the most important decision of their lives. In generations past, parents had played a decisive role in these negotiations. But over the course of the 18th century, young people gained more independence in their choices. And romantic love—based on mutual affection and companionship—became the ideal.

Putting love at the center of courtship also raised the stakes. Men became more vulnerable to personal rejections. For women, the perils were greater. A string of broken engagements could cast the woman as a flirt—a “coquette” in the language of the day—or, worse, prompt speculation about her virtue. A marriage entered into too hastily held its own dangers. A woman’s husband largely determined the comforts and privileges she would enjoy as a wife. While he could participate in the public world of commerce and politics, she had only the home she created with him from which to draw happiness.

Discovering the personality of a potential spouse could be a delightful adventure—conducted through breathless dances, nighttime walks and, of course, intimate cups of tea—but it was also a serious matter that demanded careful consideration.

Sounds like a big improvement from dad and mom picking one out to me.

Childbearing

In doing these American Stories it has been very obvious that having children during those days was not an easy task and that it frequently was met with great sorrow. Many of these celebrated founding fathers lost their wives and children during childbirth. Based on research of records some sources estimated that 1-2% of the women died during delivery. The odds escalated with each childbirth thereafter. In addition it is estimated that 20% of the children died between birth and five years old. The average woman had seven live childbirths during her lifetime in the 18th and 19th century. According to a number of their personal journals it appears many prepared for their own deaths mentally as well as by writing wills when they learned they were pregnant.

For slaves the odds were far worse. Estimates range from 28-40% of the children died at birth with an estimated 40-50% mortality rate by age ten. Malnutrition, being overworked, lack of access to medical care, diseases and so on made things worse for them.

Despite all of that the population of America doubled about every 25 years and the odds of surviving childbirth for both mother and child improved as the nation became more settled.

Women Warfighters?!

Check this out from the linked article below.

There are known cases of women who chose to actively join the armies as fighting soldiers. One of the most famous of these women was Deborah Sampson. Originally from Massachusetts, she disguised herself as a man in order to fight in the Continental Army. Serving under the alias of her deceased brother, she fought with the light infantry company of the Fourth Massachusetts Regiment. She was wounded in action in Tarrytown, New York, with two bullets in her thigh and a gash on her forehead. Not wanting her identity to be revealed, she had her head wound treated and then left the field hospital unnoticed. She was later able to extract one of the bullets from her thigh with a knife. Her identity was finally revealed during the summer of 1783 when she contracted a fever while on duty in Philadelphia. After the Treaty of Paris, she was given an honorable discharge from the army. She went on to marry and had three children, settling down back in Massachusetts. To help make ends meet, she often gave public lectures about her wartime service. By the time she died in 1827, she was collecting minimal pensions for her service from Massachusetts and the federal government.

https://www.battlefields.org/learn/articles/10-facts-women-during-revolutionary-war

She was a major league bad azz. That article opens the eyes about the real involvement of women in support of the war efforts as well as keeping families and communities going back home. The following digs deeper into the women that traveled with their husbands in the military.

https://www.ancestry.com/historical-insights/war-military/american-revolution/women-in-the-american-revolutionary-war

From it we also learn the meaning behind the Molly Pitcher name that I am sure our mollypitcher can opine about. Another link below gives more names and the nature of their contributions.

https://facts.net/history/historical-events/35-facts-about-revolutionary-war-women

Women & Education

Prior to the war, it appears the primary education for women was to learn to read and do basic math to help teach the children and run the home. In doing so the women were to teach the children religious studies. It is no secret that religion had a major place in the homes and society of the colonies. Many colonists had previously fled religious persecution and wanted no part of it in America – freedom of religion was a requirement. They worked to make sure it was built into the fabric of the American Way.

After the Revolutionary War the efforts of leaders seemed to evolve into providing more opportunities for women to gain a broad based education and to eventually become educators as a result. They knew America and its future was dependent upon an educated population. However, there was forward thinking about the subject prior to and during the war as the following article discusses for women in Concord, Lincoln and Lexington, MA. The activities even included women teaching and administering.

https://www.nps.gov/articles/000/alyssa-kariofyllis-women-of-the-battle-road-paper-3.htm

The link below goes into more detail that involves founding father Benjamin Franklin’s evolution in understanding the value of a broader education for women.

https://benjaminfranklinhouse.org/a-quiet-revolution-exploring-eighteenth-century-womens-education-through-sally-franklin-and-polly-stevenson

Many of the founding fathers desired to provide public education for all male and female children to gain acceptance and to be provided throughout the states post war. Some took steps to accomplish the vision that eventually led to women receiving a more robust education. At times it was met with great resistance from traditional, fundamentalist religions as well as from those who viewed formal education as impractical. A handful of founders agreed with what founder Charles Carroll sought, that younger women slaves should be educated so they could teach their husbands and children. They felt it would help them integrate into society better since they believed the slaves would inevitably be freed.

Religion And The Family

To better understand the value and place of women in the period one needs to understand the order and nature of families. The following linked article is provided as a teacher resource and it provides some really good information on giving a summary view from a Protestant denominational standpoint using several books as sources.

https://nationalhumanitiescenter.org/tserve/eighteen/ekeyinfo/erelwom.htm

The vast majority of our founders and general population were Protestant in their beliefs. The article gives examples from one source that divided the families into three groups.

We will discuss the overall importance of religion in America in a later Part in a few weeks.

For Entertainment

As the wife of a commoner colonist husband the following might describe the man who came home to her after a night out with the boys, or, might describe her own activities out on the town with her husband. From the Revolutionary War Journal comes the following,

Toasts and common songs brought people of all stations together. Taverns were male domains where men drank heavily, cursed frequently, gambled, fenced goods, passed money, and fought – at times resulting in murder. Women rarely set foot in a tavern unless she was traveling with a male companion or were a prostitute. Occasionally dances were arranged which allowed women who entered and exited separately from the men.

Songs sung in taverns was usually performed by patrons for their own entertainment singing solo or in large groups. Tavern owners rarely hired musicians to perform. Entertainers would show up at a tavern hoping to entertain the patrons, making them happy enough to make a donation. These musicians often mixed ballads of laments that were subdued and reflective, with rowdy drinking songs that encouraged the clientele to join in.   These musicians often played an instrument. The violin was most common followed by the flute, fife, and trumpet. The Pochette or “traveling violin” was small and very portable. Occasionally tavern owners would own instruments and provide them for the musician’s use such as a violin or harpsichord. Most performers made their own instruments and composed many of their own ballads.

Below is a song originating in Scotland that undoubtedly would have been sung in those taverns.

For the more refined couples of that day, there might be a performance of Handel’s Messiah at Trinity Church in New York City.

If in Philadelphia those same couples might take in a Alexander Reinagle piano concert with friends.

At least it gave the wife a break from the kids.

Prominent Women

There is some interesting summary background information on these ten “amazing” women discussed in the linked article below.

Pay attention next week, we have an American woman married to a French guy that makes a cameo appearance near the end.

We give thanks for these women as they made us better as a nation while fulfilling equally important roles as the founding fathers for We the People.

Please remember Wolf’s rules for our community. In general that means to be respectful to each other and to pull no shenanigans that your mom might find offensive or otherwise cause jail time. That said, free speech is honored here.

Be blessed and go make something good happen!